10 THINGS TO HELP YOU GET PAST YOUR PAST

An excerpt from the REENTRY SUCCESS SERIES)

Getting past your past is a crucial step in moving forward with your life. Your past experiences, good or bad, have helped shape the person you are today. But, holding onto negative experiences or dwelling on past mistakes can be harmful to your mental health and prevent you from achieving your goals. Here are 10 things you can do to help you get past your past and move forward.

#1 Forgive yourself, and anyone else for all the mistakes and sources of shame in your life.

You aren’t damaged goods.  You made a mistake, and are living with the consequences of bad decisions. If you’re like me, you made many mistakes.  Everyone makes mistakes.  To get past our past we have to find the balance between recognizing we make mistakes and having responsibility for them, but not letting those mistakes or the opinions of others hold us back from our futures.

#2 Focus on the life you want to have.

Think about what you want your life to look like. It’s essential to set realistic goals for yourself. You deserve to have a good life, and with hard work and dedication, you can achieve it. Keep your focus on your goals, and don’t let setbacks discourage you.

#3 Stop hanging on to the old.

Letting go of the past can be challenging, but it’s necessary to move forward. You can’t change what has already happened, so it’s important to focus on the present and the future. If you find yourself dwelling on past events, remind yourself that you can’t build a future while holding onto the past.

#4 Make a list of what you need to get or do to achieve your new life.

Think about what you want your life to look like. What kind of career do you want? Where do you want to live? Write down your goals and the steps that it will take to achieve them. Do you need to get a specific license? If so, how will you do that? Do you need to build your credit? Find a safe and secure place to live? Breaking your goals down into small steps will keep you from feeling overwhelmed and give you a clear map to your future. 

#5 List what in your past helps you to achieve your new life.

Reflect on the positive experiences from your past that can help you achieve your goals. Perhaps you learned valuable skills in a previous job or developed strong relationships with people who can support you now. Recognize the strengths you have developed from your past experiences. 

#6 List what in your past keeps you from achieving that?

Now reflect on the negative experiences in your past that will keep you from achieving your goals. Recognize your mistakes and understand you have the power to choose differently this time. Make a list of anything in your past that will keep you from your new life. 

#7 What do you need to avoid to keep from returning to old habits or addictions?

Think about what support or activities you need to help you stay away from old habits and addictions. List the places you need to avoid. Think about a healthy hobby you can pick up to replace your unhealthy habit. 

#8 Who do you need to avoid to keep from being trapped in the past?

Reflect on what people might hold you back from beginning a new life. Stay away from negative influences especially if they are engaged in unhealthy habits. 

#9 What can you do differently to help launch your new life?

Now is your chance to move past your mistakes and enjoy a life of success and happiness. You deserve a good life. Think about everything you can do differently that will help move you in the direction of your dreams. Can you enroll in a new class or start exercising? Start doing things that will prepare you for your new life? 

#10 What can you do now to start to prepare for your new future?

We all have pasts, with both good and bad in them. How you choose to use your past is how you get past your past to your new future.